Poem—Beautifulest Flower

My mom’s a flower—

flowers are so, so beautiful. 

They call to many visitors—

the buzzing bees,

but also the creeping aphids.

My mom’s an unlucky flower—

only the aphids came.

Maybe that’s why she was always sick.

why she was always in pain.

If only she weren’t as beautiful… 

My mom’s an unlucky flower—

she lived a life of lonely pain.

I learned that flowers flourish with love;

So Mom—in your next life, 

will you be my daughter? 

Oh beautiful flower, 

I will love you forever and ever 

23/05/15 11:13 AM

---

Original version: 불행한 꽃

엄마는 꽃이에요

꽃은 너무 아름다워요 

이것저것 불러들이죠

벌도 불러들이고

진딧물도 불러들여요

엄마는 불행한 꽃이에요 

진딧물만 불러들이더라고요

그래서 늘 아프고 

그래서 늘 괴로우셨던가 봐요 

덜 예뻤으면 좋았을련만

엄마는 불행한 꽃이에요 

평생을 힘들게 사셨어요 

꽃은 사랑해줘야 잘 자란데요 

그니깐 엄마, 다음엔 제 딸로 태어나줄래요? 

예쁜 꽃 평생 보살펴드릴께요

23/03/15 10:29 PM

---

Less than three months had passed since my mom's passing when I was given a (Korean public) school assignment to write a personal poem. I didn’t care what my classmates or teachers would think of me—pity me, feel sorry for me, mock me—that was the least of my concerns at the time. I had too many words left to say to her, which will forever be left unsaid, and that was torturing me. So I took this assignment as a chance to relieve some of the pain and insufferable regret.

I had always thought my mom was really, really unfortunate. She didn’t deserve all the pain she went through—first the initial cancer, and then the relapse ten years later that eventually led to her death. And she truly was beautiful. She surpassed any celebrity. She was beautiful, gentle, and had such a sweet and pure soul. She was a great mother, a wonderful wife and friend, and one of the bravest women I’ve ever known.

Thinking about all this, I wrote the poem in less than half an hour. I knew exactly what I wanted to say to her. I love you, Mom. If there is a next life, please be my daughter so I can return the feeling of being loved that you gave me. Let us be together again, for eternity.

This poem was written shortly after my mother’s passing in 2023. Writing it helped me process some of the grief and love I still carry with me. It remains one of the most honest pieces I’ve written.

The title, “beautifulest flower,” includes an intentional grammatical error to emphasize the childlike perspective from which the poem was written.